Why Choosing the Right Provider Matters
There’s a common story I hear quite often:
“I just went with the OB my sister used.”
“My friend said they were nice.”
“I didn’t know I had options.”
And I get it. We’re conditioned to believe that care is care—especially if someone else had a decent experience. But when it comes to birth, your provider is one of the most powerful factors influencing how you feel about your experience—during and long after it’s over.
Your choice of provider can literally shape your birth:
Whether you're heard or dismissed.
Empowered or pressured.
Held with care or hurried through the system.
Whether you leave birth feeling whole—or traumatized.
And i’ll be the first to tell you, you deserve to feel whole.
🌱 You Deserve a Provider Who Respects You
A calm and empowering birth is not luck. It’s not just about candles, breathing, and affirmations (though those are beautiful!). It’s also about the energy of the people around you—and whether they believe in your autonomy.
Your provider should:
Support your birth preferences, not override them
Believe in your body’s ability to birth
Use consent-centered language and practices
Welcome your doula as part of the team
Be someone you genuinely feel safe around
If your gut says “ehh,” that’s your sign to dig deeper.
🧠 What to Ask When Interviewing a Provider
Whether you’re considering an OB in hospital, midwife at home, or a birth center team, here are questions to help you gauge if they’re aligned with your birth vision:
1. How do you support unmedicated births?
(Their tone and language here will tell you everything.)
2. What’s your approach to interventions like induction, Pitocin, or cesareans?
3. What is your cesarean rate?
Ask especially about their rate with low-risk birthers.
4. Will I see you at my birth, or could someone else be on call? (Additional question: Do they hold the same or a similar approach)
Continuity matters. Don’t be afraid to ask.
5. How do you feel about birth plans?
6. How do you involve my partner or support person?
7. Are you comfortable working with a doula?
8. What are your thoughts on delayed cord clamping, movement during labor, and physiological pushing?
9. How do you support BIPOC, queer, or neurodivergent families?
(If they say “I treat everyone the same,” that is a red flag.)
❗️When It Might Be Time to Switch
You’re not “too far along” to make a change. Ever. And if your provider:
Dismisses your questions
Is constantly rushed
Has a history of high interventions or trauma reports
Makes you feel like “just another patient”
Talks down to you, or talks over you...
That’s your cue to pivot.
You deserve a birth team that listens, affirms, and empowers you. Not just someone who’s “nice.” Nice isn’t the same as safe.
✨ My Role as Your Doula
As your doula, I help you sort through these decisions. I can help decode red flags, role-play interviews, and support you if you decide to make a switch. And most importantly, I remind you: this is your body, your baby, your birth.
You get to choose what safety feels like.
Need help navigating your options? I’m here.
📞 832-855-0509
Skylar (they/them) is a Birth Doula and the heart behind Your Lifeline Doula. As a queer, neurodivergent, and BIPOC birthworker, they hold space for healing, joy, and radical love at every stage of the parenting journey. They specialize in creating safe, affirming care for LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC families—because everyone deserves to feel seen, supported, and deeply held. When Skylar isn’t supporting families, you’ll find them ice skating, raising their spirited kiddo, or dreaming up new ways to build and nurture the community.
